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Chug big or chug home…

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An unsanctioned event organized by students at one of our local high schools has raised the ire of its principal. So much so that emails have been sent home warning parents of this event and its imminent danger.  Parents have been urged to ask their children NOT to participate in this wasteful and harmful event and have been cautioned that local police have been asked to provide additional officers to enforce safety, should the event take place.

What is this undesirable event that parents should be so anxious about?

Is it an illegal swim party at a local quarry? Is it an unchaperoned bush party at one of the many local farm fields? Is it the private post-prom party across the border at a local ski resort (where most of the students will be of legal drinking age)?

No. In fact, these events (which have taken place or are about to take place on my son’s social calendar) have not been deemed sufficiently objectionable by anyone such that parents should be alerted to potential unsafe and/or illegal activity. The low-down on the street is how we get savvy to these events.

The appalling event that I am being warned about is the annual senior student-organized milk chugging contest.

This will be one of the most uncomfortably awkward and sensitive discussions I will have with my teenagers yet.  There’s no way all those conversations about safe sex, drugs, alcohol, academic challenges, work and money chats will serve me for this one.

I’m not sure how to handle this one. Should I go the sour milk is bad for you-route? Or, that unpasteurized milk may make you sick-schtick? How about, milk that comes from cows who’ve been injected hormones have been fed is unacceptable-deal (oh, but that’s illegal in Canada, so will probably not be too effective).  Or the time-tested, waste-not-want-not talk? No, I think I better stick to the fear tactic that always works best:  “Do you have any idea how easy it is to get addicted to milk?”

This isn’t the first time we’ll be talking about milk-chugging contests, and I can assure you, it won’t be the last.

(Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I hope I don’t get my son suspended).



About Astra

I am a zamboni fumes-inhaling hockey mom of three. I poke fun at myself, motherhood and minor hockey. Offside by a Mile, my tell-all hockey mom-oir will be soon published. Read more at, follow me on Twitter @mydustbunnies and join my Facebook page at

11 responses

  1. Imagine the danger for the lactose intolerant? I hope I don’t have to read about this trend in our national news. I’m glad you’re having “the talk.”

  2. Wild. (Feeling thirsty … glug glug glug)

  3. Missed Congeniality

    During the Holiday Season, do they switch to Egg Nog? That IS, dangerous…ruining many a pair of underwear in the process.

    • No, I understand this to be a once a year, spring tradition. I’ve since been told by “insiders” that the police are present and that all the kids clean up after the event. I think I may institute weekly chugs!

  4. Sheesh. Youth these days. They are living on the WILD side, I tell you…

  5. It’ll be curtains for your son if he combines the milk-chugging with chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven. You will lose him forever to milk if that should happen. 😉

  6. LOL – this is hilarious! I guess it’s no different than my Senior cut day back in high school to attend the Crawfish Festival …true story…true event…embarrassed just mentioning it.

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